Tuesday, November 26, 2013
It'll be 9 weeks on Friday that I have been working Kathryn Hansen's book, "BRAIN OVER BINGE." My results have been incredible and groundbreaking. I have STOPPED binge eating!
It is such an amazing feeling to know that FINALLY my binge eating days are over, but also one of sheer astonishment as to the simplicity of the solution. It is natural and pure common sense.
One one level, recovery is complicated, which has made writing posts challenging. (I've written about 6 posts I never posted.) They just became so complicated.
On another level, recovery is so simple, it's effortless most of the time.
I started working the BRAIN OVER BINGE program on September 27th, and similar to Kathryn's experience, I experienced two slips back into old behavior after the 2nd week, but these were an integral part of my recovery. These slips were totally different now, and I actually saw binge eating for what it was, a habit I perpetuated by continuing to act on binge urges. I saw myself think the urge, I saw myself act on it, habitually, giving creed to the irrational urge. I wasn't even enjoying the food. I enjoyed the food MORE at dinner time, when I was hungry. Binge eating now seemed pointless, yet I gave in habitually, all the while seeing that the behavior now made no sense. Binge eating was a creation of my mind, a reaction that stemmed from dieting, a behavior I chose to do, which became a destructive habit maintained by irrational and faulty beliefs.
I have been binge free since.
I eat today when I'm hungry and stop when i'm full and I ignore urges to binge. And that's it.
The binge urges have for the most part, dissappeared.
The simple method Hansen teaches to end binge eating IS the answer.
I implore you to investigate the book or the website www.brainoverbinge.com if you suffer from binge eating.
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I have met wonderful women on the "B.O.B." website Forum.
One of them, Mary Ann, created a Forum herself, which is found on her website. Here we communicate with each other, and other binge sufferers can discover how to recover using B.O.B principals, and principals from other books that have been meaningful to Mary Ann.
_ _ _
I just spent 10 days at The Better Living Lifestyle Center (www.DrArcilla.com), working as Raw and Vegan Chef.
It was wonderful creating new and exciting recipes daily, and living a high raw vegan program again!
I look forward to sharing some new recipes with you in the future.
_ _ _
All in all, I feel like, finally, everything is coming together for me. Binge eating is gone and I'm losing weight very slowly and naturally, eating health-giving food. I finally have high hopes for a binge-free future!
xoxo michelle joy
Friday, October 4, 2013
So here's the scoop.
Last I wrote, I was planning on going back to OHI (www.optimumhealth.org) in December for another 6-8 months to lose weight and stop binge eating again, by getting back on a 100% raw vegan diet, in the intensely structured environment of this most wonderful raw retreat.
My father had offered to send me. Thank you, Dad!
I filled out the online application, sent the required essay (which unbeknownst to me needed to be under a certain number of words and had to be rewritten, ahem, SEVERAL times), sent the required photo, recommendation letters, etc..., only to hear nothing back from OHI after a week. I called and left a message.
After another week, I called again. And again.
On my third try, finally, someone answered in the missionary office. "Who is calling?," Darlene, the head of missionaries asked, perplexed, not recognizing my name. "I don't have your application. Are you sure you sent it?"
"Uh.......it took me almost an entire DAY to get that application together. Of course I am sure I sent it." I gave some attitude.
Well. They never got it.
Must have been a computer glitch.
By then, with the application snafu, I was already feeling like God was just not WANTING this 2nd long term trip to OHI to happen, when my father began complaining, in ernest, about pretty hefty money problems ($6,000 dental bill and a $3,000 repair bill from the car which would no longer drive in reverse).
"Honey, I think you'll have to find something LOCAL," he admitted.
Sensing how the tide was turning, I knew it was time for me to seek out more answers, on my own.
I mourned the loss of the dream of running away to OHI for a while, and then one day, soon afterwards, searching for a cure for my incessantly continual binge eating, I found this video on youtube on HOW TO STOP BINGE EATING.
HOW TO STOP BINGE EATING
The video is of a young teenager who was bulimic, and who is no longer bulimic, after following a book called "Brain Over Binge." True, she was only in the beginning honeymoon stage of recovery, but I had to admit, it sounded interesting.
Really curious, I ordered the book that had made such an impact on her, "Brain Over Binge," by Kathryn Hansen, from Amazon. (My local Barnes and Noble did not have it, nor could they order it, as it was a limited printing, I was told.) I bought the book easily on amazon.com, here:
BRAIN OVER BINGE BY KATHRYN HANSEN - AMAZON.COM
The book arrived about a week later.
The book....is beyond brilliant.
I know...........this blog is NO stranger to the excited, "I found the cure!" posts.
But I did. I FOUND THE CURE!
And this is where you will find it. In this book:
And it is so simple, you will kick yourself.
Now, granted it is only DAY 8 of NO BINGE EATING AND NO DIETING following the book..., but I KNOW with such confidence now that as long as I continue to follow the simple steps (by the way, ridiculously simple) to end binge eating outlined in Hansen's book, (as I HAVE been over these last 8 days),
I will NEVER binge again.
I know for a certainty, that if this is what I want to happen, never to binge, ever again, (and I do, never want to binge again), then I KNOW I will never binge again.
How many of you could say that....with certainty?
Now, if I WANT to binge again, I will.
But if I don't want to, how do I know this with such certainty?
I'll be explaining in the coming days. You just gotta hold on, there is so much to tell!
What is also interesting to note, is that over these last 8 days, I have positively increased in my desire to get back to eating more raw food, rather than the opposite, which you might think would happen, giving up dieting.
Funny. Now that I can finally HAVE EVERYTHING I WANT (to eat), instead of wanting it all, I am left asking, "Yes, but now, what do you really CHOOSE?"
I think this time away from binge eating has served to heighten my awareness of just how BAD I feel. And I just felt so good on raw, and want to feel good again, despite the fact that raw food eating does NOT STOP binge eating, as I proved during my frequent raw food binges over the 3.5 years I was raw.
Now, I am coming to it from a place of CHOICE rather than NEED.
And I don't think I will do 100% raw. And I really have no fear about it. Because I now know that stopping binge eating has NOTHING to do with food choices.
It has everything to do with the brain.
Much much more coming on that.
In conclusion, I just want to THANK GOD for leading me to this miraculous book.
(If it is right for me, God will clear a path back to OHI. But I have an inkling that God knows that I can do this now, by myself. How empowering.) (And now that binge eating is out of the way, I can really do whatever I want to with my diet. So freeing!)
I am SO grateful to Kathryn Hansen for her amazing insight, for documenting her experience, and for sharing what she learned so effectively, so that other suffering binge eaters, could learn they TOO could STOP binge eating!
I look forward to sharing with you more about my experience, and more about this simple technique described in this incredibly well-written, intensely logical, amazingly practical, and most persuasive book, "Brain Over Binge."
If you are a binge eater, and you want to stop, I urge you to get the book. You will NOT regret it.
In the meantime, you can look over Kathryn's website, www.brainoverbinge.com
KATHRYN HANSENAUTHOR OF "BRAIN OVER BINGE"
I thank you for your support, look forward to better days again, and as always, ask God to bless you!
xoxo michelle joy
Sunday, September 8, 2013
Good News People!
I just filled out an application for the Missionay program at Optimum Health Institute, www.OptimumHealth.org!!!
This is the raw retreat that I went to before starting this blog, where I lost 145 lbs., and started my 3.5 year raw life. Please pray for my acceptance back into the program! It helped me tremendously 6 years ago, and I am praying to be blessed to be accepted back for a six month or longer stay. Pray, pray, pray!
In other news, I just wanted to give you an amazing recipe I just created. This is a cooked vegan Meatloaf recipe that I just came up with using what I had at home, and it is so good, I can't quite believe it, and I had to share it with you. It's not raw, but I do believe this recipe could be converted to raw vegan with some thought and work. So, I've done the thought and work for you, and I've added those ideas below!!!
While I'm still around, I might as well ENJOY before I'm floating in a sea of wheatgrass and Rejuvelac!!!
OMG, it was the meatiest fake meatloaf I have EVER had in my LIFE!!! So so good!
|someone else's pic from online, but mine kinda looked like this!!!|
COOKED VEGAN VEGGIE MEATLOAF
In large workbowl, add: 1/2 lb (uncooked dry measure) regular brown lentil beans, cooked in water
1 cup old fashioned oats
1/2 cup jarred vegan tomato sauce
1/3 cup veggie parmesan
1/2 cup olive oil
1 Tbsp Himalayan salt
In Cuisinart with S blade, process finely together:
2 cups raw brazil nuts
1 cup old fashioned oats
1.5 cups baby bella mushrooms
1 large carrot or 3 skinny old ones like I had
1 cup of raw leeks
1 small onion
3 cloves fresh garlic
1/3 cup fresh basil leaves
1 tsp fresh rosemary
1 tsp fresh thyme
1 tsp fresh oregano
Add processed brazil nut mixture to lentil mixture in large work bowl, and with hands, mix thoroughly until well combined. This mixture will be very moist and will not hold together, but it will after it is cooked and well rested.
Preheat oven to 400.
Plop the mixture into the bottom of a greased large rectangular pyrex. Mold the mix into a meatloaf shape. Bake on 400 for 1 hour.
Then, to create a ketchup-like topping, mix the following in a small bowl and spread ontop of the meatloaf while still in the oven.
1 cup vegan tomato sauce
1/4 cup agave
juice of 1 lemon
Bake for another 15 mins. Turn off the oven and allow the meatloaf to stay in the oven for another 30 mins with the heat off.
If served now, it will be soft and delicious and hot.
But it is even better after it sits out 4 or 5 hours because it will really firm up amazingly and become almost EXACT meatloaf consistency. OMG, SO GOOD!!
In fact, that sounds YUMMY and I am excited to try this raw version!! If you try either version, please let me know!!!!
xoxo michelle joy
Friday, August 23, 2013
Article By Christopher Wanjek
Published August 21, 2013
HI Folks, I thought this was a VERY interesting article. The main point is - persistence wins - no matter what kind of plan we follow - 50% raw or 100% raw. Intellectual constipation and paralysis about 'what' diet is best become irrelevent if we can't stick with it. We need to just adhere to a healthy plan and change our behaviors for good.
xoxox michelle joy
Thursday, August 22, 2013
WHAT I ATE TODAY
BR: steel cut oatmeal, 1 nectarine, 1 peach, blueberries
SN: 1 vegan yogurt, 130 cals
SN: some tastes of raw mock toona
LN: guacamole and raw corn crackers
DN: 2 homemade veggie burgers, lettuce, tomato, raw brazil nut pate', raw ranch dressing
Binge free for 11th day, yay, but today was not without significant challenges.
I was bored today and boredom is one of the biggest challenges to overcome and to not eat when one is a binge eater. I saw it and said, "I am so bored, all I want to do is compulsively eat!" I don't know how I managed to walk away from it relatively unscathed.
Cliff wanted to take me to work today. So picking me up avoided any possibility of an after-work binge, that I might have succumbed to had I driven myself. God must be cradling me in his arms to have arranged that.
The truth was the boredom was mixed with a seriously healthy does of fear. I am injured and experiencing significant physical distress. The feeling I was holding water in my legs?....was not water. It is a tendonitis of sorts, exactly what I went through at Dr. Arcillas. I have apparently overtaxed ligaments or tendons in my knees again.
But how? Starting a walking program again? Stopping my heavy duty workouts with my trainer because I ran out of money and had to get my car fixed? Being on my feet too long at work? Showing a friend that funny walk Dr. Arcilla taught me that seemed to hurt my knees before?
I think all of the above have played a role in my present incapacitated predicament.
My first thougtht was to feel terribly sorry for myself and blame the Enemy, in Judeo Christian terms, Satan, and to ask why he is attacking me, (literally) "cutting me off at the knees," when I am finally doing better?
Struggling to get around, I had to ask God for help several times today to get through the day without leaning on food.
My second thought was that I am experiencing a detox, and that whatever toxins I'm releasing, are pooling in my knees (?). Is that irrational? I may be only 50% raw, maybe less, on some days. Dr. Arcilla seemed to think the tendonitis before was caused exclusively by detox and had nothing to do with injury or weakness or the funny walk he taught me.
All I know is, I can barely walk and my legs want to buckle. My knees feel like the tightest rubber bands, I am limping, and in pain.
Furthermore, I have been experiencing alot of all over body stiffness lately, come to think of it, and maybe that is from acids detoxing? Could my diet be MORE ACIDIC NOW than it was BEFORE? Too much fruit and grains?
I don't know what's going on.
Tonight I am going to take Dr. Morse's HEAL ALL TEA, that my wonderful friend, Joy, sent to me. I will mix that with the Chinese pooping tea Dr. Arcilla prescribed. Maybe all of that will help clear whatever is inflaming me.
Unfortunately, I have to be on feet all day again tomorrow...
xoxo michelle joy
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Howdy on this beautiful day!
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
WHAT I ATE:
BR: Green Smoothie: banana, spirulina, 2 pear, peach, pineapple, one date; steel cut oatmeal with fresh blueberry and ground up apple
LN: Lunch Out - big salad with chick peas, roasted artichoke, roasted red pepper, fresh cukes, tomato, carrot, red onion w/ a little balsamic, 1 Tbsp olive oil, 1 tsp. russian dressing
SN: fresh juice - 1.5 apples, pineapple, 1/2 lime, 1/2 lemon
DN: cooked whole foods vegan dinner - 2 homemade veggie burgers, a little leftover mushroom mix with quinoaWalk: good 40 mins walk at the zoo and at the mall.
I had a good but very trying day, emotionally. Today was day 9, no binges, (YAY!!) but I felt ALOT of uncomfortable emotions and fears surface, namely discouragement and fear I wasn't losing weight fast enough, through much of the day. I am absolutely positive this diet is GREAT for my binge eating (not compulsive). But I was left feeling very worried about how it would affect my WEIGHT. I did get weighed and there is a good loss, but I've lost ALOT more on more RADICAL diets.
Knowing my eating is under control (THANK YOU GOD) and that this eating plan is moderate and thus SUSTAINABLE helped pull through the discouragement about slow loss. Better to lose slow and keep it off, really changing my habits, than to lose super fast and gain it all back in a week.
Cliff and I decided it is best to weigh myself no more than 1x/month.
Food wise, it was another good day.
I tried to eat less meals, but was unsuccessful.
We took a walk at a mall.
After our big breakfast, we were hungry around 3pm.
We went to this great pizza shop near the zoo we know that serves awesome salads. I got a huge salad with such good fixings. That was the best salad I've had in a long time. Can we say ROASTED ARTICHOKE? OMG, wanna give up SOY? Just roast up some canned or jarred asparagus. I swear, those artichoke hearts had the meatiness of wheat meat or soy meat, without being BAD. They were so the bomb, I just got back from the market with two jars of what-do-you-think? Artichoke hearts.
No processed fake-meats anymore. Yay.
We went for a good walk at the zoo. p.s. I pet and fed the giraffe....and pet Ollie, the goat :-) Luscious!!!!!!!!!
When we got home from the zoo, we were so parched from the heat, I made a quick cold fresh juice using a method I learned in Victoria Boutenko's raw cooking video the other night. You just throw everything with water into the Vitamix, add a little ice, blend, pour through a nutmilk bag, and oila', fresh juice faster than any juicer I've ever used. Fabulous!!
The veggie burgers I made for dinner are awesome but came out bland because i'm being very judicious with the salt, though it pains me. But they ARE good. I did them 4 at a time in a teflon pan. I made a lot, like 12. I was on my feet all night (and worked all day). I was pooped.
Curiously, my feet did NOT hurt at work today. (Interesting because i was on them the previous day all day AND night).
Next time i eat fish or dairy, i will let you know if they hurt.
+ + + + + + + + + + +
VEGAN HOMEMADE VEGGIE BURGERS
1,000 FLAVOR COMBINATIONS!
For vegan homemade veggie burgers, i follow a format - veggie / nut / grain / bean. I learned this from my friend Talia. She had the saddest look on her face when i told her I loved boxed veggie burgers. Now Talia smiles when I tell her what I've made. Using this format, you can make literally thousands of veggie burger flavors!
Last night I made:
veggie: redbeets, onion, thyme, mushroom, carrot, celery, garlic (food processed, raw)I mishmoshed it all together and formed patties. It is actually SO much easier to bake them, which I will do next time. duh!
nut: cashew (food processed, raw)
grain: quinoa/barley/oatmeal (left whole, cooked)
bean: red kidney beans (left whole, cooked)
+ + + + + + + + + + ++ + + + + + + + + + + + + ++ + +
Br: no breakfast: iced green tea, unsweetened
Sn: smoothie: banana, almond milk, vanilla
Sn: starving: 4 oz. raw mock chick'n salad
Ln: very big garden salad with 8 oz. raw mock chick'n salad and raw ranch dressing
Dn: cooked vegan whole foods dinner: 1 homemade veggie burger, 2 slices sprouted grain Ezekiel bread, sliced tomato
Sn: late night hunger - 1 veggie burger, 3 peaches
I woke up this morning not feeling hungry! I guess dinner was heavier than I thought!
Boy, when it finally hit me, it hit! The banana smoothie (only about 1 banana in it) did little to fill my belly. The raw mock chick'n salad I'd made quieted it for the moment and was MMM...so good!!
It was so good, in fact, I had a lot more for lunch. MMMMM!!!
I thought I could perhaps get away without any dinner tonight, but around 5pm, I felt famished.
And I didn't plan on having bread, but the sprouted Ezekiel was staring me in the face after Cliff's dinner.
And then 9pm, I was starving again! Oh my.....
No walk tonight.... :-((
+ + + + + + + + + + + +
RAW MOCK CHICK'N SALAD
- about 4 cups almond pulp
- scallions, maybe 1/3 cup sliced
- herbs chopped: fresh rosemary, thyme, dillweed, and some dried poultry seasoning
- chopped celery, maybe 2 cups, fine
- lemon, a few Tbsps
- salt, maybe 1/2 Tbsp
- garlic, one clove crushed
- cashew cream, about 1 cup
And the mock chick'n salad has salt. But I couldn't resist, I was so hungry.
Good news....day 10 binge free!
My co-worker at Raw Can Roll said I am indeed looking better. That makes it all worth it.
xoxo michelle joy
Monday, August 19, 2013
Today was my 8th day of in-control whole foods eating with no binges!
Dinner: Dad's Birthday Dinner - very small salad with russian dressing on side, "Seasonal Vegetable Platter," a cooked veggie platter containing broccoli, mushrooms, carrots, string beans, asparagus, and potato; a few bites of fish, less than 1/2 cup of birthday ice cream cake dessert.
Notes:Dad's Birthday Dinner - I thought hard about what I would do last night when we took my parents out to dinner to celebrate my dad's 79th birthday. I asked God to help me make sane choices. I was so pleased with how I did at dinner. I felt totally in control. I ate no bread because I didn't want any. I enjoyed salad and the Vegetable Platter very much. I had a little bit of fish, probably about 1/3 cup, because I was still hungry after my veggies, and both Cliff and my mom, who both ordered fish, were having a hard time finishing theirs. I had very little dessert. Just enough. It was a perfect treat night. A little bit of something but nothing veered out of control. Thank God. I had no binge impulses after coming home and enjoyed my meal and the company and celebration!
Consequences - My feet hurt at work badly. I wondered if it was from the salmon or the dairy in the icecream cake? My feet didn't seem to hurt last week eating no fish/dairy. Something to keep track of, which will inform my choices in future. My feet hurt soooo bad!! So now we get to the crux of it all - what is worth it when I truly realize/come to terms with the consequences. The only way to do that is to journal how I feel after I eat! So, hello there!!! I also had a hard time singing in the morning with some reflux, but was okay soon enough. We listened to the LOVE STATION on Serius Radio and I enjoyed singing along to love songs ALL DAY!!!!
Today I worked at Raw Can Roll Cafe.
BR: steel cut oats in car before work (less than 1/2 cup cooked), 1 peach, 3/4 cup blueberries
SN: protein smoothie: almond milk, banana, peanut butter, cacao
L: raw lunch salad: large salad with scoop of dry mock chick'n, and my salt free cilantro cashew dressing
D: cooked vegan whole foods dinner: 3/4 cup mixed quioa and barley, cooked cauliflower, cooked mushrooms, rinsed canned red beans, cashew cream.
Walk: 2 miles up hills to Pretzel Park, down to Main Street, up Baker Street, whew! Good walk.
Steel Cut Oats Breakfast - I make a big pot of them the night before. I served myself a serving in a tupperware and slice fruit over it and ate just before work. The peaches were so SO sweet, I didn't miss the agave...or honey!!!!!
Protein Smoothie: Felt very hungry about 12:00. My breakfast at 8am was not that oatmealy, more fruity. I decided for the Peanut Butter Cup Smoothie at Raw Can Roll Cafe. Definitely not as yummy without the agave, but still good. Tasted more like Peanut Butter Mylk.
Raw Lunch Salad: I didn't eat my big veggie salad until about 3pm. My salad was so huge but did little to cut my appetite - the only thing with calories was the thin cashew cream and about 1/3 cup of almond pulp. When I got home at 4pm, I started cooking dinner right away.
Cooked Vegan Whole Foods Dinner: I was dreaming up this amazingly delicious conconction in the car after I ate my salad and was FULL of low cal veggie roughage but STILL HUNGRY!
I had a small serving and it was enough! I stopped as soon as I was no longer hungry.
I wonder why I am so in control lately?????? With no bread, no sugar, no cooked oils, I feel remarkably steady and not the least bit compulsive! Or is it God/Spirituality that is making it happen (prayer, etc...)? Or is it the combination of BOTH??? It occurs to me this kind of a food plan is similar to OA HOW GREY SHEET - no white flour, no sugar, nothing processed.
Here is the cooked vegan recipe that I created for dinner. It was so VERY VERY delicious I wanted to share it with you!!!
Un-Creamed Mushrooms and Beans with Cauliflower over Quinoa and Barley
First I processed 1.5lb of cremini mushrooms in the food processor with the slicing blade, and put them on the stove with 1/2 cup of water and very little celtic salt to cook. They rendered their juice and then the juice completely cooked away. I added fresh thyme from my garden and a can of well rinsed red beans.
I made raw cashew cream in the vitamix with about 3/4 cup cashew, same amount water, 4 cloves garlic, 1 date, 1/3 cup scallion, juice of 1 lemon, and a little celtic salt. I added the cashew cream to the cooked mushroom mix, stirring in, with the heat off. (OMG, it tasted just like the best very thick un-cream of mushroom soup.)
I served myself a nice spoonful of the creamed mushroom mix over a bed of cooked cauliflower/quinoa/barley that I'd made all in one pot with water, no salt.
This meal contained NO OIL and needed nothing it was so good.
For garnish, I snipped fresh chives, scallions and parsley on top. Pretty looking dish, and seriously delish. But delicately flavored! Not 'kapowey' like I usually make, because I used ALOT less salt than I normally would.
A great day!